


because i'm strong (but i'm not bulletproof)

by gilligankane



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Merry Pitchmas Gift Exchange 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:34:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28309806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilligankane/pseuds/gilligankane
Summary: Chloe grabs Beca’s hands, turning them over in her own. “You just need to bring a date with a rocking hot bod and a killer voice and Jesse will be tres jealous.”“Right,” Beca agrees, playing along. “So, just someone who what? Looks like a supermodel but also has a Top 40 voice?” She rolls her eyes, swaying into Chloe for a second. “Do guys like that even exist?”“Maybe not,” Chloe allows. “But what about me?”
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 25
Kudos: 328





	because i'm strong (but i'm not bulletproof)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the Fake Dating AU no one asked for for Christmas. But this _is_ written for aca-oblivious for this Merry Pitchmas Gift Exchange 2020. Enjoy!

Beca drops the wooden spoon she’s holding, macaroni and cheese splattering across her t-shirt. “What do you mean Jesse is coming?”

Chloe clicks her tongue, coming around their small kitchen table and sliding her hands under Beca’s shirt. She starts to work the shirt up over Beca’s ribs and under her arms before Beca catches on. She swats at Chloe’s hands and backs up, hip colliding with the knob on the oven.

“Shit,” she hisses. She rubs at the spot. “What’re you doing?” She turns to Amy. “And what do you mean, Jesse is coming?”

Chloe crosses her arms over her chest. “That’s going to stain.”

“So I’ll only wear it to bed,” Beca dismisses. She jumps back again when Chloe reaches for her. “Dude, stop.”

“You can’t keep exiling all of your clothes to ‘pajamas’ when you don’t want to clean them.” Chloe gestures at Beca’s shirt. “Give it to me and I’ll clean it before it sets in.”

“No.” Beca holds out the wooden spoon between them when Chloe tries to step in again. “No, stop it. It doesn’t matter what I wear to bed.”

“It does when it’s my bed you’re sleeping in.”

“Whoomp, there it is,” Amy says from the table.

Beca turns back to Amy, still holding out the spoon in Chloe’s direction. “Jesse is coming? My-  _ Jesse _ is coming.”

Amy pops an almond into her mouth and chews it loudly. Beca inhales slowly.  _ Patience _ , she can almost hear Chloe saying. She’s been saying it a lot, lately. It makes Beca think that maybe she’s coming home a little more frustrated these days.  _ Look at what I’m working with _ , she thinks. Between white rappers and catering to her boss’s increasingly insane holiday demands, she’s stretched thin by the time she gets through the door and sees Amy in the same place she was when Beca left, or has Chloe’s books all spread out across their bed.

“Amy,” Chloe prompts.

Beca glances at her quickly, lowering her spoon slightly.

“It’s a Christmas aca-reunion, Beca,” Amy says slowly. “Even Bumper is going.” She holds up a hand. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to take him back.”

“No one cares,” Beca says at the same time as Chloe makes a choking noise in the back of her throat.

She feels bad for Chloe for a second. If she had been the one to walk into their apartment and found Amy and Bumper using their bed, she would have just done everyone the favor and set the bed on fire. Instead, they made Bumper buy them a new mattress and take the used one with him. Watching him carry it down three flights of stairs had almost been worth knowing what he did to it. 

“All of the Trebletones are going to be there,” Amy continues. “Bumper said he might even bring a date.”

Beca glances at Chloe again. “Oh, Ames. I’m sorry.”

Amy makes a face. “Not Bumper. Jesse.”

_ Jesse _ .

Beca feels her stomach drop for a second. It’s been a few months, but there’s still a part of her that aches when she thinks about him. It’s hard to just let go of four years together. That’s what she tells herself when she feels like she’s hung up on him. Because she isn’t. Not really. He was just a big part of her life, that’s all. And now he’s not a part of that anymore, but she’s fine. She’s totally fine.

“I’m fine,” she says out loud.

Chloe’s face softens. “Of course you are.”

Amy nods. “Sure you are.”

“I  _ am _ ,” Beca says loudly. She winces. Too loud. She clears her throat. “Honestly. If he has a girlfriend, well. Good for him.” She looks at Chloe and shakes her head. “No. Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Chloe asks, even as her eyes fill with tears. “I’m just looking at you.”

“ _ I’m just looking at you _ ,” Beca mocks. Her arm drops to her side, spoon dangling from her hand. “I don’t need your pity. I’m fine.”

Amy throws an almond at her, hitting her in the side of the head. “Bumper says she’s ugly.”

Beca glares at her. “I don’t care,” she says firmly. “She could be a supermodel and I still wouldn’t care about it. She could run a nonprofit for-for dogs with cancer and it wouldn’t matter.

“How hot of a supermodel, though?” Amy asks, picking up the water Beca opened a little while ago. She drinks half of it before she puts it down. “Like, on a scale of one to… Kate Moss.”

Beca makes a face. “Kate Moss? Really?”

“I bet she’s not that great,” Chloe cuts in. She grabs the spoon out of Beca’s hand and stirs the macaroni and cheese a few times. “I mean, she’s definitely not you.” It makes the scowl on Beca’s face soften just a little. “And anything not you is, like, a big step down.”

“Unless she’s Kate Moss,” Amy cuts in.

Chloe rolls her eyes. “Please. She’s not Kate Moss.”

Amy shrugs a shoulder, finishing Beca’s water. She burps and tosses it towards their small trash, missing it by a few feet. “She might be. Guess we’ll find out.” She stands, stretching her arms out over her head before she pulls the door open. “Gotta get back on the streets. How else will we afford to eat more than boxed macaroni and cheese, hmm?”

“You could buy groceries,” Beca calls after her as the door closes. She doesn’t wait for an answer she knows isn’t coming. She closes her eyes and exhales, eyes opening slowly when she feels Chloe’s hand at her waist. “I’m fine,” she says again.

Chloe smiles softly. “It’s okay if you want to be upset about it.”

“I’m really not.”

“I’m just saying.”

“So am I,” Beca insists. “Honestly, dude. I’m happy for him. You know, moving on with his life in sunny California. I’m living my best life out here in cold, bitter New York with the same people I’ve lived with for the last five years.”

Chloe pokes her in the side and Beca winces.

“You guys are, like, cool. Or whatever.”

“Or whatever,” Chloe echoes. She reaches around Beca for the two bowls Beca took down out of the cabinet, scooping macaroni and cheese into them. “We love you too, Bec.”

Beca ducks her head and rolls her eyes when Chloe reaches for her again, a hand on each side of Beca’s waist. “Yeah, yeah.” She looks down at the small yellow specks on her shirt. She likes this shirt, actually. She thinks it might belong to Chloe, though. She’s not sure she would buy an ‘I ♡ NYC’ shirt. She’s not a tourist. Neither is Chloe, but it doesn’t stop her from acting like one sometimes.

Chloe follows her eyes and then leans in close, smiling. “So, you gonna take that thing off, or what?”

Beca groans and pushes Chloe’s hands away from her waist. “Fine,” she gives in. “But not the smelly stuff this time. Lil’ Trace says it makes him itchy in his…” She trails off, mouth twisted in a grimace. “Just use the unscented stuff.” She pulls her shirt off, quickly grabbing another one off the rack next to her and putting it on as Chloe takes her stained one.

She watches Chloe lay it out and pull the stain correction pen out of the laundry basket at the foot of the bed. She rolls her eyes when Chloe looks back at her and winks. 

_ Living my best life _ , she thinks. Sure she is.

-

“And she’s okay with Jesse going?”

Beca takes a deep breath, clamping her teeth down together and forcing a smile as she looks up from the production notes she’s going over. She leans into Chloe’s space. “Yes, Aubrey,  _ she _ is okay with whatever Jesse wants to do with his life.”

Aubrey doesn’t even pretend to be surprised that Beca is there. “Chloe, tell her she doesn’t need to pretend to be strong about this.”

Beca jabs her finger at Chloe, a silent,  _ don’t you dare _ . “Aubrey,” she says slowly, breathing out through her nose. “I’m going to say this just one more time. And then you’re going to put it in the newsletter or the weekly email or whatever-”

“The group chat,” Aubrey interrupts. “If you ever bothered to check it.”

“ _ And then _ ,” Beca says over her. “And then you’re not going to bring it up ever again.” She waits for Aubrey to sigh and nod at her to continue. “Jesse and I decided,  _ together _ , that it wasn’t going to work long-distance, and it would just be easier to be on our own for now.”

“She’s not on her own,” Chloe adds. She loops her arm around Beca’s and rests her chin on Beca’s shoulder. “She’s got us.”

“Heyo,” Amy calls from her bed on the other side of the room. Beca makes a face at the clothing rack between them. “Pitches for life.”

Aubrey rolls her eyes on the computer screen. “You have us too, Beca. Just say the word, and we’ll suit up.”

Beca snorts. “Suit up?” She jumps when Chloe digs the point of her chin into the soft part of Beca’s shoulder. “Fine. Thank you, Aubrey,” she says, the words clunky in her mouth. “I’ll let you know if I need anything.”

“Do you know what she needs?” Aubrey asks, talking to Chloe. 

Beca sighs and drops her head back. She can feel Chloe’s breath on her neck, and she shivers, wriggling out of Chloe’s hold. Chloe looks at her, a question in her eyes before Aubrey pulls her back to the computer screen. 

“She needs a date,” Aubrey continues.

“Bree,” Chloe starts.

Aubrey makes a noise that cuts Chloe off. “What better way to show Jesse that she’s over him? If she finds some hot, eligible bachelor who knows enough Chicks songs to carry on a conversation, she should bring him.”

“ _ Aubrey _ ,” Beca starts.

Chloe brings a hand down over Beca’s knee and squeezes hard, cutting her off. “She’s fine, Aubrey. Really. So what if he’s there? It’s going to be a huge reunion. She might not even run into him.”

There’s a loud banging noise somewhere behind Aubrey. It makes Beca jump, her pen skipping across her page. She growls down at the line as Aubrey sighs heavily. Chloe blindly drops her hand over Beca’s as it slowly curls tightly around the pen she’s holding. She squeezes Beca’s hand gently, working her fingers off the pen and lacing them with her own.

“One of the bear alarms just went off.” Aubrey sighs again. “I’ve got to make sure none of the idiots from Evermore Insurance didn’t wander off. Again.” She leans in close to the screen. “Text me later. I have some ideas on what to sing as our opening number.” She pauses. “Bye, Beca,” she says a little louder.

Beca forces a smile when Chloe turns the screen towards her. “Bye, Aubrey.”

She listens to Chloe say goodbye to Aubrey and wonders why they’re even going to hang up if Aubrey is going to text Chloe in a little while and then probably call her again before bed. Beca hardly sets an alarm anymore; Aubrey usually calls Chloe by 7:30, nearly every day, pulling Beca out of a dead sleep each time. She goes back to her notes. Her other client, Tommy Tucker - which, is enough to make her want to vomit in her mouth each time she says his name - wants her thoughts on the additions he made to a song she thought she already perfected. She’s pouring over the notes, trying to think of an elegant way to write ‘ _ My way is better’ _ and coming up with nothing. She hears the quiet snap of Chloe’s laptop closing and she feels the bed dip when Chloe leans over to get her book off her makeshift nightstand.

“You could do it,” Chloe says casually, opening her book and folding the corner back.

Beca frowns, scribbling down one last note before she looks up. “Do what?”

Chloe shrugs her shoulders. “Bring a date.”

Beca snorts softly. She closes her notebook and turns on her bed until her knees are pressing into Chloe’s thigh. “Sure, Chloe. Let me just go find some random dude to be my date to an acapella reunion.”

“Aca-union,” Chloe reminds her. “Aubrey says-”

“If Aubrey says to throw yourself off the Empire State Building, would you?” Beca closes her eyes briefly, exhaling a thin stream of air through her nose. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly. “I didn’t mean that. What I meant to say was, I’m not going to find some guy to bring to this thing.”

Chloe taps out a melody Beca can’t immediately place before she sits up straight and snaps her book shut. She turns to face Beca, their knees touching. “Hear me out,” she starts.

Beca groans. “No, Chloe.”

“ _ Yes _ , Beca.” She grabs Beca’s hands, turning them over in her own. “You just need to bring a date with a rocking hot bod and a killer voice and Jesse will be tres jealous.”

“Right,” Beca agrees, playing along. “So, just someone who what? Looks like a supermodel but also has a Top 40 voice?” She rolls her eyes, swaying into Chloe for a second. “Do guys like that even exist?”

“Maybe not,” Chloe allows. “But what about me?”

Beca snorts. “You.” Her smile fades when Chloe continues to look at her. “Wait, you?”

Chloe shrugs a shoulder like she’s suggesting Chinese for dinner and not being Beca’s date to some reunion she’s not sure she even wants to go to. “Why not? We’re already best friends, right? And you’ve seen me naked already.”

Beca feels her face flush a little. She’s seen it a few times, honestly, after that first time. They lived in a house with seven other girls and this apartment is about the size of a shoebox. There were bound to be run-ins eventually. And Chloe still isn’t shy about all of that.

“Plus, you know I have the voice.” Chloe sighs. “Honestly, since Brendan…”

“Brendan,” Beca says under her breath. The boyfriend.  _ Ex-boyfriend _ , the voice in her head reminds her. Some pompous barista at the Starbucks she’s not allowed to go into anymore. Not after he fooled around behind Chloe’s back and she made some very colorful threats.

“He knows Donald, the Treblemaker?” Chloe plays with the hair tie on Beca’s wrist. “And I know he probably told Donald about what happened with us. So, like, everyone there will already know that I got cheated on by a barista who didn’t even know that Kelly Clarkson’s best song is ‘Flyaway’.”

Beca makes a face. “I don’t know. ‘Since U Been Gone’ is-” She stops when she sees Chloe’s mouth turn down. “You’re right. ‘Flyaway’. Modern classic.” She sighs and turns Chloe’s hands over in her own. “Chlo, you’re so much better than  _ Brendan _ . He wasn’t worthy of you.” Chloe’s lower lip trembles. “Dude, don’t do that. Come on.” She hooks one finger under Chloe’s chin and lifts it up. “You know what? Okay,” she says.

Chloe frowns. “Okay.”

“Yeah, okay.” She holds up her pinky, her arm between their bodies. “Chloe Beale, will you be my date to what will only be the most regretful Christmas party of my whole life?”

Chloe fights a smile. “Don’t do this because you feel sorry for me.”

“I am  _ only _ doing this because I feel sorry for you.” Beca grins. “But also because, you know. You’re my best friend, or whatever. And it’s, like, hos before bros, right?”

Chloe slowly curls her pinky around Beca’s. “You’re sure.”

Beca rolls her eyes. “Do you want me to be your date or not? Because this offer expires in ten, nine, eight-”

“We’re pinky-promising.” Chloe tightens her grip on Beca’s pinky. “You can’t take it back now.” She grins brightly. “So, that’s it. You’re my date.” 

Beca holds onto Chloe’s pinky for another second before she lets go, laying back against her pillow and picking Chloe’s book back up, handing it to her. “I mean, I’ve been on dates with worse people.”

Chloe flips through the book idly. “Jesse.”

Beca pretends not to wince. “Brendan,” she fires back.

“That guy who wanted you to call him ‘Rat’.”

“ _ Rick _ ,” Beca corrects. “What about Tom.”

Chloe smacks Beca’s knee gently. “I liked Tom.”

“He checked me out. In the shower.”

Chloe winks at Beca. “So did I.”

Beca groans and pulls Chloe’s pillow off her side of the bed, bringing it down over her face. She can hear Chloe laughing at her and she closes her eyes, seeing nothing but black behind her eyelids.  _ Huh _ , she thinks.  _ Maybe this reunion won’t suck after all. _

-

“This reunion is going to suck d-”

Aubrey gives a sharp, shrill whistle that cuts Beca off. She jumps, bumping into Chloe who loops an arm around Beca’s waist and holds her upright. Beca looks down to where Chloe’s fingers flex at her hip for a moment before she looks up and finds herself face to face with Chloe.

“Well, this is one way to get my attention,” Chloe says, her voice low. Her thumb brushes over Beca’s hipbone.

Beca feels the back of her neck burn. “Ha.”

Aubrey clears her throat loudly, somehow sounding like she’s standing in the room and not on a computer screen, propped up in the kitchen while Chloe makes and burns a batch of Christmas cookies. Beca jumps again, moving out of Chloe’s hold. “Now that I have your attention…”

“Because you asked so politely,” Beca murmurs. Only Chloe hears her, mouth twitching in a smile for a brief moment. She gives Chloe a small smile back.

“What time are you getting there?”

Beca sits down at th e table, stealing one of the more edible-looking cookies off the baking tray and popping it into her mouth. She makes a face. It tastes a little salty.

Chloe doesn’t notice. “We should be flying in around noon, right Beca?”

“Right.” Beca breaks the rest of the cookie into two, holding out one half for Chloe to take. She watches carefully as Chloe chews it, forcing a smile when Chloe looks at her excitedly. “We’re still going to stay with you?” She pauses. “In an actual cabin this time, right?”

Aubrey smiles at that. “You get your own cabin.”

“Oh, we can share,” Chloe says. She drops a mixing bowl into the sink and wipes her hands off on the towel she tucked into the top of her pants. Her forehead and the thighs of her yoga pants are streaked white with flour. She smiles brightly at Beca. “We’re used to it.”

Beca should jump in and say that a cabin all to herself sounds great. She’s been living in this one room apartment for almost two years with two other people and space is limited. She’s lucky to get ten minutes to herself in the bathroom before Chloe breezes in or Amy forces the door open. Even the small sign on the outside of the door doesn’t stop them. The idea of sleeping alone in a bed that’s made for just one person should sound like a dream.

But Chloe wouldn’t be next to her, hogging the comforter and trying to take her pillow each night. And something about that makes the idea of having her own cabin feel a little off.

“Okay,” Aubrey says, her eyes skating past Chloe to Beca. “As long as you’re sure.”

“We are.” Chloe looks back at her. “Right, Beca?”

“Right, Chloe,” Beca agrees easily. 

Aubrey heaves a sigh, lofting it into the air. Beca looks at Chloe who is staring at the recipe she definitely didn’t follow and notices she’s missing Aubrey’s incredibly obvious cue. She watches Aubrey open her mouth again and jumps in.

“What’s up?”

Aubrey looks a little surprised that she asked. “Oh.” Chloe turns and looks at her expectantly. “Well, I was just thinking how sad it’s going to be that we’re all going to show up without dates. Bumper,” she says, her eyes narrowing, “is going to be insufferable.”

“Beca is going to be my date,” Chloe says, a wide smile on her face as she looks back at Beca.

The words settle funny in Beca’s stomach. She knows Chloe doesn’t mean anything by it. They’re best friends. They’re going to a Christmas party together, which is how they do everything. She’s not sure why she hesitated when Chloe asked, because it’s just another day for them. Nothing extraordinary, really.

“We’re going to show Jesse just what he’s missing,” Chloe continues. “When we show up, totally in love, he’s going to regret ever leaving for California and their warm summers and their mild winters and…” She trails off, her eyes clouding over for a moment before she shakes herself out of it. “He’ll never know what’s gonna hit him.”

The funny feeling in Beca’s stomach flares up. “Wait, hold on. Love?”

Chloe tips her head to one side. “Duh.”

“Duh,” Beca echoes dumbly. “I’m sorry, I thought we were just going to be each other’s dates. You know, show up together, spend the whole night huddled around the punch bowl and making sure no one tries to get Legacy drunk.”

Chloe’s smile drops a little. “Oh. I meant, like, we’re being each other’s dates because we’re  _ dating _ .”

Aubrey snorts softly through the speaker. Beca glares at her.

“Dude, you don’t want to date me.”

“Not with that attitude, I don’t.” Chloe dusts her hands off, a small shower of flour littering the floor.

Beca snorts, the sound surprising her. “You don’t want to date me.”

Chloe’s eyebrow rises slowly. “Do you not want to date me?” She puts her hands on her hips, pressing flour handprints into the fabric. “I’m not good enough?”

“No, of course you are,” Beca rushes out.

“So what, then?”

Beca smiles thinly. “Chloe, no one is going to believe we’re dating. Why would  _ you _ date  _ me _ ?”

Chloe’s shoulders drop. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re totally dateable.”

Aubrey lets out a small laugh that Beca ignores.

“I’m honestly not. It was like, one of the things that Jesse said when we broke up.” She screws her face into something she thinks Jesse might look like. “He literally said I wasn’t able to hold a relationship.”

Chloe’s eyes narrow. “I thought you said it was a mutual breakup.”

“It was, it was. Just…” Beca shrugs a shoulder weakly. “We said a few things to each other.”

“I told you,” Aubrey says. Chloe jumps a little. “I told you that getting into bed with a Treblemaker was only going to end up badly.”

“Aubrey,” Beca and Chloe say at the same time.

Chloe looks back at her, shoulders set back and eyes flashing. “Well, then we’re going to show him just how well you can hold a relationship.”

“Chloe,” Beca says weakly.

Chloe shakes her head. “No. He’s going to see exactly what he’s missing out on.” She grabs Beca by the shoulders and pulls her up to her feet. “Now, Beca Mitchell. Will you be my girlfriend?”

Beca glances at Aubrey and then back at Chloe. “Chloe, you don’t have to do this.”

Chloe stands there, staring at Beca. Beca knows the look in her eyes. It’s the same one she got when she decided she was going to graduate. The same look when she decided that they were going to get this apartment no matter how small it was, just because it was exactly halfway between her job and Beca’s. Chloe has made up her mind and she’s not going to change it. Not even for Beca.

“Fine,” Beca says after another minute. “Fine. This is a terrible idea,” she points out. “But fine.”

Chloe grins, squeezing Beca’s shoulders lightly before she lets go. “You won’t regret it, babe.”

“I probably will,” she mutters to herself. Aubrey catches her eye through the screen and Beca holds her gaze for a moment before she looks away. Her stomach turns over, a little more gently this time, but Beca swallows down the feeling.

-

Chloe reaches around Beca, smiling at the stewardess as she walks by with the drink cart. She takes the cup of Sprite she ordered and puts it down in front of Beca. “Here. Drink this.”

Beca’s fingers dig further into the armrest she’s gripping. “No thanks,” she says, her teeth grinding tightly.

Chloe drops her hand over Beca’s, her fingers lacing between Beca’s. “Bec, come on. You’ll feel better.”

There is a small bump and a sip of the Sprite in front of her splashes over the side. She looks at Chloe out of the corner of her eye, her head pressed back into the seat.  _ See _ , she tries to tell Chloe.  _ Do you see? _

Chloe runs her fingers over the back of Beca’s hand, slowly pulling her fingers away from the vinyl. “Beca,” she says softly. “We’re almost halfway there. The only thing you need to prepare for is the landing.” She turns Beca’s hand over. “And I’ll let you hold my hand.”

Beca feels herself relax just a little, some of the tension draining from her sore shoulders. Her hand flexes in Chloe’s. “Right. Okay.”

Chloe smiles. “Some day, you’re going to get good at flying.”

Beca shakes her head firmly. “I’m driving next time. I would have driven this time, too. But  _ noooo _ ,” she says. “We had to work until the last possible minute, didn’t we?”

“Rent’s due,” Chloe reminds her.

“Amy really needs to get a job,” Beca mutters. She leans into the aisle, trying to see through the blue curtains at the end of the aisle. “How did she even get into first class? She can’t even find the money to pay for pizza.”

Chloe shrugs, her fingers still stroking over Beca’s hand. “We have more important things to worry about.”

“More important than who's paying for pizza?”

Chloe rolls her eyes. “Yes, Beca. More important than that.” She picks the small bag of nuts off her tray table and drops them on Beca’s. “Here, if you’re hungry you can just have these.”

Beca eyes them for a minute before she shakes her head. Chloe stays silent long enough for Beca to sigh and give in. “Fine. What is so important?”

“We are,” Chloe says, voice low and more serious than Beca has heard it in a long time. She remembers the last time, when Chloe pulled her aside before graduation and told her about her big plans. About NYC and how they could go together. “We need a story.”

“A story.” Beca blinks. “A story about what?”

“About us.” Chloe sighs. “No one is going to believe us if we don’t have a believable story, Beca.”

Beca raises one eyebrow. “Well,  _ Chloe _ , why can’t we just, you know. Work on the fly.”

Chloe shakes her head. “No, we need a story. A plan.” She turns a little more in her seat, pulling her leg up under her. Her knee presses into Beca’s thigh. “Like, how did we meet?”

Beca frowns. “You jumped me in the middle of a shower.” She lets go of the arm rest with her other hand, pressing her wrist to Chloe’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay? Is the lack of oxygen getting to your head?”

Chloe swats her away. “Stop it. We need a plausible story.”

“We  _ have _ a plausible story.” Beca idly opens the bag of nuts. “We met when you got into my shower. Without permission, I’d like to add. And then you bullied me into joining your weird cult-like group.”

“ _ You _ showed up,” Chloe reminds her. “ _ You _ decided to join us.”

“I tried to leave.”

“Look how far you got.” Chloe pulls Beca’s hand into her lap. “So, fine. We don’t need to change our beginning.”

Beca shakes her head. “Or the middle.”

“Jesse,” Chloe says, mouth twisting into a frown.

“Jesse,” Beca echoes. “We can’t pretend he didn’t exist. He’s, like, literally the reason we’re doing this thing.”

Chloe sighs. “Okay, so, what? You dated him for three years. Was I madly in love with you the whole time?”

“I don’t know. Were you?”

Chloe sighs again. “Beca,  _ help me _ .”

Beca rolls her head back, feeling her neck stretch. She feels a hand digging into a knot she didn’t know she had and her eyes close for a minute until the plane jumps again and she sits straight up, Chloe’s hand falling from her neck.

“Just a little bit of turbulence,” Chloe says quickly. Beca exhales shakily. “Now, back to our love story.”

“If you start singing Taylor Swift, I swear to god-”

“I think we figured it out after Jesse,” Chloe continues over her. “After Brendan, obviously. Because people might know about him. Or, maybe, during Brendan. Maybe I didn’t care that he cheated on me because I wanted to be with you instead.”

“We don’t have to do this,” Beca reminds her. “I’ll be fine.”

Chloe shakes her head. “No way, lover. We’re going to show Jesse what he gave up.”

“Okay,” Beca says slowly. “So after him.”

“I think I made the first move.”

“I don’t think anyone would have a hard time believing that.” She shrugs when Chloe turns to her with a glare, a smile still on her face. “I’m right and you know it.”

“Fine,” Chloe allows. “But you didn’t take much convincing.”

Beca thinks about it for a minute. “So, you bullied me into a relationship. Just like you’ve done with every single thing we’ve done together.” She holds up a finger when Chloe opens her mouth. “The Bellas. Buying that house. Moving to New York. Letting Amy live with us, which, I still haven’t forgiven you for. Taking that job at the studio. And this, apparently.”

Chloe considers this for a minute before she smiles. “I think you love that about me.”

Something shoots through her, singing in her chest and through to the tips of her fingers. She drops Chloe’s hand, clenching her own into a tight fist. She frowns at the feeling of it, looking down at her lap like she’s going to find an answer to a question she isn’t sure how to ask. When she looks back up, Chloe is looking at her, eyes soft and concerned.

“You okay?”

“Sure,” Beca says quickly. “So nothing has to really change, then.”

“No,” Chloe says after a second. “Just a few extra stories. Most of it can stay the same. Like, we share a bed. That doesn’t have to change. We just, ham it up.”

“Ham it up.”

“Yes, Beca,” Chloe says in that weary voice she has when she gets to the end of whatever rope she’s on. “We ham it up. A few make-out stories. Dropping some subtle hints that we do more than make out.” She gives Beca a small wink. “But also some romantic stuff. Like, I make you dinner after a long day. You buy me Starbucks every time we go out.”

“So…” Beca breathes in deeply. “Almost nothing needs to change,” she repeats.

Chloe smiles widely. “Right.” She leans in, pressing a haphazard kiss to the corner of Beca’s mouth. She laughs into Beca’s cheek when Beca makes a face, her nose against Beca’s skin. “Just this.”

Beca feels her chest swell with a breath that gets caught in her lungs. “This,” she repeats. “The, uh, physical… thing.”

Chloe is still smiling when she pulls away. She touches her finger to Beca’s nose playfully. “Yes, Beca. The  _ physical thing _ . Handholding, to start.”

Beca feels her shoulder loosen. “Nothing new.”

“Hugs,” Chloe continues. She pauses, eyes narrowed as she thinks. “How do you feel about kissing?”

Beca’s shoulders tighten back up. “Kissing.”

Chloe doesn’t seem to notice the way Beca says  _ kissing _ , like she’s choking on something. “We might have to, at some point. To really sell it.”

Beca is starting to see all the things wrong with this. But there’s a voice in her head screaming not to run, to stay. Chloe is right. Not much needs to change. She’s not sure how she feels about knowing that. She’s not sure how she feels knowing that they’re basically in a relationship, but occasionally sleeping with other people. 

“Kissing,” she says again.

Chloe blinks and looks at her. “We don’t need to kiss,” she finally decides. “But only because you look like you’re going to pass out right now.”

Beca tries to breath in, but the seat belt sign lights up and she grabs at hers, pulling it tightly across her waist. Her heart starts to beat in her chest, slamming hard against her ribcage as the pilot announces their descent. She can distantly hear Chloe’s belt click into place over the sudden  _ whoosh _ in her ears. Faintly, she hears the word ‘kiss’ a few times. She jumps when she feels something touch her hand.

“I think,” Chloe starts. “That you said ‘I love you first’.”

Beca frowns, blinking a few times as she tries to register Chloe’s words. “What?” The plane starts down.

“I think you said ‘I love you’ first,” Chloe repeats. “Under that prickly exterior, you’re really a softie.” She shakes her head when Beca opens her mouth to argue. “I’ve seen you cry at the Macy’s Day Parade.” Beca closes her mouth. “I think you said it first and of course, I said it back.”

“Of course,” Beca says through clenched teeth.

Chloe’s hand falls over hers, squeezing softly. “Don’t worry, Bec. It’s going to be great.”

Beca closes her eyes until the plane touches down.

-

Jessica is the one who finds her at the end of the bar they crowded into, nursing a drink while she watches Amy use a poolstick in a way no poolstick should be used. They’ve already chased the locals from the table and the Bellas surround it, hanging off each other and singing along to the touchscreen jukebox playing over the crackling speakers.

If she’s honest, she missed this. 

She missed nights out with all of them. She missed seeing Stacie and Lilly and Ashley. She missed Flo and Cynthia Rose. She even missed seeing Aubrey in person and not on a tiny 13inch computer screen, though she’s never telling anyone - especially Aubrey - that. She missed being able to reach out and touch her family. She missed having them within her reach.

Having Amy and Chloe is good. It’s great. They’re two of her favorite people. But the other eight of them are flung out across the continental US and she doesn’t see them as much as she’d like to.

“So, you and Chloe,” Jessica says casually.

Beca grips her drink a little tighter. “Hmm,” she says, not committing to an answer.

Jessica’s shoulder brushes hers as she leans against the bar next to her. They both shudder when Amy spins around the poolstick like a pole. Beca takes a small sip of her drink, feeling Jessica staring at her.

“What do we tell the rest of them?” Beca had asked Chloe as they waited for their bags. She had feeling back in her hands but they still felt like they were curled around the armrest she was clutching. 

Chloe had looked back at her for a moment before looking back at the sign above the baggage claim. “We tell them the same thing we’re telling everyone else?”

Beca snorted. “They’re not going to believe us, you know.” She nudged Chloe forward when the light came on and the conveyor belt started running. “Should we lie to them?”

“Is it really a  _ lie _ ? Isn’t it just stretching the truth?” The crowd started to press in and Chloe reached back, grabbing Beca’s hand. “Don’t worry. They’ll totally believe us.

“I could have guessed, honestly,” Jessica says. She takes a sip of her drink. “I mean, it makes sense.”

Beca turns, eyes widening. “It does?”

Jessica laughs softly and nods. “Don’t look so surprised. You guys are so into each other.”

“We are?”

Jessica rolls her eyes. She bumps her shoulder into Beca’s, their drinks sloshing softly in their cups. “Come on, Captain. We’re family. You could have told us, you know.”

“It’s recent,” she says, thinking of what Chloe had said to her on the cab ride from the airport to the hotel.

Jessica frowns a little. “But you live together.”

“With Amy,” Beca reminds her. “Don’t forget Amy is there.” She looks at Amy, somehow climbing the pool table. “I don’t.”

Jessica laughs and leans into her a little. “Still. You guys are cute.”

Beca watches Chloe throw her head back and laugh at something Stacie says. She’s holding onto Aubrey as she sways, the lights above the pool table lighting her up. That feeling is back in Beca’s stomach, clawing its way up into her throat. She feels frozen for a moment, unable to look away from Chloe.

“And you’re not listening to me,” she hears Jessica say.

Beca blinks. “Sorry, what?”

Jessica rolls her eyes affectionately. “I was  _ saying _ , if you could pay attention to me for just a minute, that I’m proud of you.”

Beca turns to face Jessica, mouth twisted in confusion. “You’re proud of me?”

Jessica nods towards Chloe. “For making a move. Honestly, I had money down on you never saying anything to her. Especially after that guy she was seeing, the one who ran the Starbucks?”

“Brendan,” Beca almost spits, Jessica’s words sticking for only a moment before she thinks about  _ Brendan _ . “He didn’t own Starbucks. He was a barista. He wasn’t even, like, a shift manager.”

Jessica snaps her fingers. “Brendan. I dated a Brendan once. She goes by Brenda now, but I always liked her.” She shrugs a shoulder. “Like I said, though. She seemed pretty into him. And you had Jesse and everyone kind of thought he’d be the big love of your life.”

Beca makes a face, unable to keep up with the conversation. “Wait, you did?”

“Didn’t you?” Jessica doesn’t wait for an answer. “You did that whole thing with the song at the end of the ICCA finals with  _ The Breakfast Club _ and the fist in the air. Oh, and that big kiss.”

Beca feels her face flush a little. That had been a little over the top, she can admit.

“But,” Jessica continues. “You, like, dropped everything to get us into Worlds”

“Yeah, for us.” Beca takes a sip of her drink and nods. “I did that for us.”

“You did that for Chloe,” Jessica says. She smiles when Beca coughs around her drink. “The rest of us were upset, but we would have been fine. You know that, right?” She rests her hand on Beca’s arm. “But Chloe would have been devastated. We all said yes, for her. But you.” She winks. “You were the first one.” She leans back against the bar and sighs heavily, a smile on her face. “And now we know.”

Beca swallows carefully. “Now we know what?”

“That it was love,” Jessica says simply.

Beca chokes on the spit in her mouth, coughing loud enough to be heard over the bad Journey song someone picked out. Chloe’s head snaps up and over. Beca catches her eye and shakes her head.  _ No _ , she tries to tell Chloe.  _ No, don’t come over here _ .

But Chloe has never been good at listening to her. Not once. Not ever. Not the girl who crashed her shower ten minutes after meeting her. Not the woman who convinced her that renting a house on campus was a good idea. Not the woman who promised her a lifetime of adventure in New York City and then brought her to a third-story walkup with one bed. So Chloe slips out of Aubrey’s hold and dances around the corner of the pool table, sliding between Cynthia Rose and Stacie and across the few feet to Beca’s side. Her hand goes to the small of Beca’s back, rubbing light circles.

“Everything okay?”

“Fine,” Beca wheezes. She holds up her drink. “Wrong tube.”

Jessica smiles at them over the rim of her cup. “We were just chatting.”

“Chatting,” Beca echoes.

Chloe’s hand keeps rubbing in small circles. Her hand is warm and Beca can feel it through the thin fabric of the shirt she let Chloe convince her to wear. Chloe’s nails scratch lightly at her back and Beca shivers. Chloe pauses, eyes concerned as she tips her head to look at Beca. 

Ashley calls Jessica’s name and Beca glances at Chloe when Jessica looks away. Chloe smiles a little, one hand curling around Beca’s elbow and helping her stand up straight. Beca leans into her for a moment and when she finally looks away from Chloe, Jessica is gone, at the pool tables with Ashley and Flo.

“You okay?” Chloe asks. She leans back against the bar, pulling Beca close. Her arms go around Beca’s waist and pulls until Beca is standing with her back to Chloe, Chloe’s breath in her ear.

Beca looks at Jessica again. “I think we should tell them,” she murmurs out of the corner of her mouth.

Chloe’s arms tighten around her waist. Her chin is sharp where it digs into Beca’s shoulder. “Tell who what?”

Beca catches Stacie’s eye and gives her a tight smile before she turns and leans away from Chloe, trying to put space between their bodies. “The girls. They think-” She looks back over her shoulder again. “They think we’re actually together.”

Chloe’s smile widens. “It’s working, then.”

Beca sighs. Her hands rest over Chloe’s arms. 

“We’ll tell them,” Chloe says. “After the party tomorrow, okay? After Jesse buys the story.” Beca sighs again and Chloe shakes her head hurriedly. “They’ll be fine.”

“Jessica is happy for us,” Beca finally murmurs.

Chloe smiles. “I knew she was my favorite Jessica.”

“She’s our only Jessica,” Beca points out.

Chloe tips her head to the side. “Is she?” She doesn’t wait for Beca’s answer. “Anyway,  _ lover _ . Let’s get back to Aubrey’s. Amy never told Aubrey she was actually coming and didn’t have a cabin for her, so the last one to get there has to share with her.”

“No way,” Beca hisses. She pushes out of Chloe’s hold and grabs her hand, pulling her towards the door. Chloe laughs brightly in her ear, her feet sliding over each other before she rights herself, pressing into Beca’s back.

Beca doesn’t hear the rest of the Bellas whistling at them as they leave.

-

Something heavy lands on the table next to her and Beca jumps a little, her nerves fraying. She was up all night, inching away every time that Chloe got a little closer. She could see Jessica’s smile each time she closed her eyes. She could hear her saying  _ “That it was love” _ over and over again. Towards the morning, Chloe had turned into her at some point, her lips against the bare skin of Beca’s shoulder. She had stayed so still she thinks she might have pulled something getting up.

Aubrey sits down next to her, her chair too close for Beca’s comfort. “Good morning,” she says brightly.

Beca sips gingerly from her coffee, her neck aching. “Morning.”

“It’s different, isn’t it? Saying it in person instead of over the phone?” Aubrey picks at the muffin Beca took from the table labeled ‘contintenal breakfast’.

Beca pushes the plate closer to her. “Your voice is less… annoying.”

Aubrey snorts a little. “And you’re just as charming as ever.”

“I blame you for this.” Beca points a finger at Aubrey. “I used to sleep in. Did you know that no one gets into my office before 10am? But because of you, I’m up at 7:30 and into the office by 9. I look like an overachiever.”

“You’re welcome.”

Beca rolls her eyes. “Somehow, I knew that was going to be your answer.”

They sit together in silence for a few minutes, Aubrey pushing the muffin around on Beca’s plate and Beca scrolling through her phone. It feels like any normal morning when Chloe passes Beca the phone while she finishes up in the bathroom or has to make toast or drink her collagen thing that always makes Beca’s stomach turn - Aubrey is quiet and Beca is quiet and they both wait for the thing they have most in common to come back.

“So Chloe,” Aubrey finally says. 

Beca puts her phone down, already bracing herself for whatever Aubrey is going to say. 

Aubrey smiles tightly and turns, pushing the muffin away from her. “Chloe is my best friend.”

“She’s my best friend too,” Beca says too quickly.

“Right.” Aubrey nods. “So, we agree. We need to do what’s best for her.”

Beca frowns. “What’re you talking about?”

The lobby is empty when Aubrey looks around. Most people who drifted through the main lodge took their muffins and their coffee to go. Beca watched them all morning, wondering when it was going to be Chloe coming through the door. 

“This… thing you’re doing,” Aubrey starts. “I just want to make sure no one gets hurt.”

“Hurt,” Beca repeats. “Hurt how?”

Aubrey opens her mouth, forehead knitted in confusion as she goes to say something that Beca doesn’t catch.

“ _ Becaw _ ,” someone calls from the front desk.

Beca feels something cool rush down her neck and over her shoulders. Aubrey’s mouth snaps closed with an audible  _ click _ . She presses her hands flat against the table as she straightens her shoulders and pushes back in her seat.

“Jesse.”

Jesse comes closer, grinning at her. “Wow, it really is you. I hoped it was. Otherwise, I’m making bird noises at random women.” He smiles even wider. “Hey, remember that time in Copenhagen when-”

“Jesse,” Aubrey says over him. She’s loud and cheery and Beca could kiss her for it. 

“Aubrey, hey.” He stops in front of the small table they’re sharing. “Wow, how cool is this?”

“I didn’t realize you’d be here,” Beca finally says.

Jesse turns back to her. “Miss an aca-reunion? With the aca-boys and the aca-girls?” He smiles at her, only her, like they’re back at initiation night and he’s vowing that they’re going to spend the rest of their lives singing acapella.

“I meant, you know.  _ Here _ .”

Aubrey’s hand drops to Beca’s knee for a brief second. “I didn’t see your name on any of our registration logs.”

“Right,” Jesse breathes. “You own this place. That’s amazing. I forgot all about that.” He looks around, arms out wide. “This place is so great. My girlfriend’s mom came here with her company, some kind of workplace bonding thing. She couldn’t believe you were opening it up to all of us. Her mom said we couldn’t say no. We booked the room under her name.”

Beca turns slowly, an eyebrow raised. “Wow, Aubrey, I didn’t realize you were so welcoming.”

Aubrey smiles, all teeth. “We’re an aca-community, Beca. It was the least I could do.”

Jesse looks between the two of them, his smile flickering slightly before he turns back to Beca. “So, how’ve you been?”

_ How have I been? _ she asks herself. She’s working at an entry level producing position and living with her college roommates in an apartment the size of a Claire’s. She’s talking to her dad more and her mom less. She’s glaring at tourists as they clog up the city. And she’s wishing she was home now, curled up in her bed with a cup of tea and one of Chloe’s ‘comfort albums’ on.

“Beca,” someone calls.

Beca feels the tension drain from her shoulders as Chloe waves from across the room. The sun coming in through the glass sliding door catches her hair for a minute before the door opens again and then it’s just Chloe, coming closer and closer and not slowing down even as she catches sight of Jesse standing between her and Beca.

“Hey,” Chloe breezes. She slips around Jesse and sits on Beca’s lap, looping her arms around Beca’s neck as Beca’s arms go around her waist. She looks at Beca for a long moment before turning to Jesse and pretending to be surprised. “Jesse, oh my god. I didn’t even see you there.”

“Really?” He asks, smile slipping. “Because you had to go get by me to get…” He nods at them. “There.”

Chloe laughs, swaying into Beca’s side. Beca knows that laugh. It’s the one she does right before some guy goes out of his way to buy her a drink. It’s the one she does right before she’s about to turn the tables on someone and make them think it was their idea.  _ It’s evil _ , Beca had told her one day after she watched one poor guy go back to the bar three times, the wrong drink each time. Chloe had only smirked and bit down on a bar straw.

“Sorry. I get a little one-tracked when it comes to Beca.” Chloe sways in again and Beca finds herself holding her breath. “I’m sure you know how it is, though. Or,” she laughs again, “you did.”

Jesse’s smile continues to fade. “Yeah, of course,” he agrees slowly. He rubs the back of his neck. “Hey, what do you mean when you say-”

“Sorry I didn’t get up with you,” Chloe says over him, dropping her voice low enough to make Beca feel like Aubrey and Jesse shouldn’t be this close. “I was enjoying the silence. Amy can be so loud sometimes.” She smiles brightly at Jesse. “I’m sure you know that too, though.”

Jesse’s smile morphs into confusion. “Uh…”

“From when you would spend the night,” Chloe prompts. Her thumbs stroke over the back of Beca’s neck and she shivers a little, her arms tightening around Chloe’s waist. Beca watches Jesse’s eyes drop for a moment. “Silly.”

“Right,” Jesse says slowly. “That was a while ago.”

“Well, let me tell you.” Chloe leans towards him a little and Beca inhales sharply. “Not a thing has changed. Has it, babe?”

Beca blinks at them for a minute before she realizes Chloe is talking to her. “Nothing. Babe,” she adds.

Jesse tips his head as he looks back and forth between them. Chloe laughs again, her thumb digging into a sore spot behind Beca’s ear. Her eyes flutter involuntarily and her hand flexes on Chloe’s hand, fingertips slipping under the sweatshirt she’s wearing that looks suspiciously like the one Beca’s dad got her for Christmas last year. 

“I should get going,” Jesse says loudly. When Beca jumps a little, he looks sheepish and lowers his voice. “I mean, I’m sure the party tonight is going to be crazy. Lit?” He shakes his head. “It’ll be great. I’ll, uh.” He takes a few steps backwards, saluting them. “I’ll see you there.”

Beca watches him go, slipping out of the lodge into the sun. Chloe smacks a loud kiss to the side of Beca’s face, laughing in her ear before she pushes off Beca’s lap and sits down in the empty seat on Beca’s other side. She picks up the plate in the middle of the table with the torn-apart muffin and picks up a piece, popping it into her mouth. 

“Can you believe how late I slept in?” She groans and rolls her neck side to side. “I think I slept enough to make up for all the amount of sleep I  _ don’t _ get.” She looks at Beca. “What happened to you? I thought you’d sleep later than me.”

“Internal clock,” Beca grumbles, glaring at Aubrey.

Aubrey smiles tightly. “There’s nothing wrong with getting an early start to your day, Beca.”

“My dad always says-”

“So what was his deal?” Chloe interrupts.

Beca pauses. “Whose deal?”

“Jesse.” Chloe eats another piece of muffin. “He was being weird.”

Beca laughs before she realizes Chloe isn’t laughing with her. “Really?”

Chloe looks between Aubrey and Beca. “Seriously. I know he wasn’t always that weird. I mean, he dated you, but- ow!” Chloe rubs at the small red spot on her arm where Beca pinched her. “He was just extra weird, or something. You guys saw that, right?”

Beca looks at Aubrey quickly. “I don’t know what he looked like. I could barely see him over you.” She rubs at her lap now. “But it probably has something to do with that. You know. With the…” She gestures at her lap. “With all the sitting.”

“The sitting.” Chloe pushes the rest of the muffin away and Aubrey picks at it again. “Please. That was barely even on the ball field. Wait until we get to first base.” She winks at Beca before she turns to Aubrey and launches into something Beca can’t keep up with. She leans back in her seat, her feet going into Beca’s lap.

Beca drapes her hands around Chloe’s ankles without much thought, finger twisting in Chloe’s shoelaces. She’s definitely wearing one of Beca’s socks. Beca shifts a little in her seat, feeling Chloe’s legs move with her. She wants to go back a few minutes when the lodge was quiet and it was just her, the muffin she wasn’t eating, and the weather in the city on her phone. When Chloe wasn’t curling around her lap and winding her fingers into Beca’s hair. When Aubrey wasn’t in the middle of saying  _ “I just want to make sure no one gets hurt” _ like it was supposed to mean something to Beca. She wants to go back there and take a few more moments to herself.

Because before that, she wasn’t thinking about Chloe burning fingerprints into her skin. Before that, she wasn’t thinking of Chloe leaning in close to her, voice low and her eyes heavy with something that felt like a secret. She was just thinking about what to get her stepmom for Christmas this year and how to break it to Tommy Tucker that his song is shit and whether or not she should try and sit Amy down to talk seriously about contributing to the rent.

But now she’s left with the weight of Chloe’s arms around her neck and the sound of  _ “babe” _ coming out of Chloe’s mouth. She doesn’t know what they mean or why they’re sitting in the pit of her stomach but they feel heavy with something Beca can’t really name.

Chloe lifts her foot and drops it, catching Beca’s attention. She smiles when Beca looks up, nodding encouragingly when Beca hesitates to smile back. She does, finally, her mouth twitching restlessly before she picks up her phone again, scrolling through it. Chloe’s feet rest comfortably in her lap.

There’s something, just below the surface of her mind. She doesn’t know what it is, yet. But it’s there and it sounds a lot like Chloe.

-

“This is… a lot,” Beca says as they walk into the hotel ballroom rented for the night. She’s still not sure who put this one or why it seems like they’re at the fanciest hotel in Georgia, but she feels very out of place in the red jumpsuit Chloe made her pack. It doesn’t feel like enough. Chloe looks like she belongs, though, in the black dress she brought that Beca is one hundred percent sure she hasn’t seen before.

Chloe grins widely and hooks her arm through Beca’s, pulling Beca into her side. Beca feels herself fall into Chloe a little, her body pressing into Chloe’s without too much thought. If she thinks about it, she’s been doing this for a while. This whole ‘let Chloe take the lead and pull me along’ thing. And a part of her thinks she should mind. She should care that she just follows along in Chloe’s slipstream, sometimes playing catch up. But it’s  _ Chloe _ and Beca doesn’t mind.

“Hmm,” Aubrey says next to her. She catches Beca’s eye. “Long curtains aren’t exactly… in.”

Beca wonders if  _ gold _ curtains make the cut but Stacie sweeps in and pulls Aubrey away, leaving Beca there just past the doorway with her arm caught in Chloe’s. She takes a deep breath and looks around. She recognizes a few of the Bellas from Worlds, ones that came before her. Alice, Emily’s mom. Her Bellas have pushed together two tables near the back corner, draping their coats and their purses over the backs of the chairs. She can see Bumper on the other side of the small dance floor, eyes locked on Amy. Beca feels her stomach rebel at the sight of him. He’s with some other Treblemakers, too. Donald and Unicycle and a few guys she never learned the names of. She knows Benji isn’t here, working on some magic show in Japan that he couldn’t take time off of. Beca was kind of upset when Emily told her. Jesse got Benji in the breakup, for the most part, and Beca missed him.

“Drinks?”

Beca blinks, coming back to Chloe. “Sure.”

Chloe tightens her grip on Beca’s arm and pulls her through the crowd to the small bar on the side of the room. Beca watches the room as Chloe flags the bartender down, noting that Chloe doesn’t let go of her. She seems like she’s holding on tighter, if anything. Beca isn’t sure why. They’re not going to get more than five feet apart tonight. Beca can tell when Chloe has decided they’re going to stay within arm’s reach. She does it all the time at the nightclubs Beca has to skulk around in and the art galleries she drags Beca to.

_ A bully _ , she thinks affectionately.

“Here,” Chloe says cheerfully, pressing a cup into her hand. 

Beca isn’t sure what it is, but she takes it anyway, knocking her glass into Chloe’s before she takes the first sip. She coughs. Champagne. 

“We meet again,” she hears behind her.

She tenses for just a second. Chloe catches it, eyes concerned for a moment before she looks over Beca’s shoulder and sees Jesse standing there. Beca feels Chloe’s hand go from her arm to the small of her back, fingertips pressing into her skin through the thin material of the jumpsuit. She puts on a smile, tightening her grip on her glass as she turns.

“Hey, you made it.”

Jesse hooks a thumb over his shoulder. “Pretty cool, huh? Fancy.”

“Very fancy,” Chloe agrees. She plucks Beca’s drink out of her hand and takes a sip before giving it back to her. “It’s been a while since we’ve been able to get a night out like this, hasn’t it?”

Beca thinks of Chloe’s idea of “a night out” and stifles a laugh. It’s usually the greasiest Chinese they can find, from that one place that’s just far enough away that they can’t really walk but close enough that ordering delivery feels like a luxury. She usually convinces Beca to put on  _ Bring It On _ and always manages to get Beca to watch  _ Bring It On Again _ and  _ Bring It On: All or Nothing _ before Beca can’t stand it anymore. They don’t go “out” like they used to. Beca would rather spend her time in sweats, mixing music in bed while Chloe paints her toenails and gives Beca totally out-of-the-box songs to mix together.

Jesse smiles a little. “Kelly and I don’t get a lot of time to go out either.” He turns back towards the tables. Beca can’t see where he’s looking but she imagines what Kelly might look like. Probably blond. Probably very into movies. “Honestly, we weren’t going to come, but she said getting together with some of the guys could be good. We don’t see each other a lot. Not like…” He gestures towards the Bellas table. “Not like you guys, I guess.”

Beca looks at them, all crowding in to take a selfie on Stacie’s phone. They don’t get together as much as she’d like them too, but they see each other a few times a year. Maybe not everyone at once, like now, but Stacie comes and visits every few months. Cynthia Rose was just in the city last month. Flo isn’t far. And Emily flies up when she can. They stay in touch, but that’s what family does.

“We’re so lucky, aren’t we, Bec?”

Beca looks at Chloe with a thin smile. “Sure we are, Chlo.”

Jesse shifts his weight side to side. “So,” he says, dragging the word out. “You guys, huh.”

Beca feels herself tense under Chloe’s hand.

“Us,” Chloe says brightly. She presses her palm firmly into the small of Beca’s back, forcing her to breathe back against it.

“I guess,” Jesse starts slowly. He pauses, working the words back in his mind. “I guess I just never saw that being a thing,” he admits.

_ Why not? _ a voice inside Beca starts to shout. Another voice in her, quieter, whispers  _ Because it’s not true _ .

“Well,” Chloe starts, her voice as cold as ice.

Beca turns into her, winding her fingers through Chloe’s. “Hey,” she says casually. She can feel Chloe start to soften a little. “Didn’t we want to go see if there was something the girls needed?”

“I’m not trying to be an ass,” Jesse cuts in.

Chloe tenses again, lips pulled into a thin line as she turns back to Jesse. “Really?” she asks.

Jesse is already shaking his head before she finishes. “I’m not. It’s just… it’s kind of out of the blue, isn’t it? I mean, if you guys are really together. Bec,” he says to her. “We dated for three years. Don’t you think I would have known?”

“Known  _ what _ ?” Beca asks at the same time as Chloe says,“ _ Bec _ doesn’t owe you any kind of explanation for how she wants to live her life.”

Beca swallows, her throat closing all the same. She feels stuck between them. She’s always felt a little stuck between them, if she’s being honest. Jesse was her boyfriend but Chloe is her best friend. She came first sometimes.  _ Okay _ , Beca admits to herself.  _ Chloe came first a lot of times _ . But friendships are forever, and anyway, Jesse didn’t last long, did he? She looks between them now, at Jesse’s casual dismissal and Chloe’s seething anger, and she makes the same choice she’s made a hundred times before.

“Chloe, let’s go,” she says quietly. She doesn’t look back at Jesse, focusing on Chloe instead. She rubs her thumb over the back of Chloe’s hand in firm, even motions, feeling the tension leave Chloe’s arm with each pass of her thumb. She tugs a little when she thinks Chloe is ready, smiling at Chloe encouragingly when Chloe looks at her. “Come on,” she says again.

Beca turns and tightens her grip on Chloe’s hand so she moves with her, winding through the crowd to the Bellas table. Aubrey sees them coming and stands up abruptly, hand clenching around a napkin. Beca ignores her, guiding Chloe to a chair and sitting down next to her, bracing herself. She knows Chloe is angry and an angry Chloe somehow always ends up with a crying Chloe. It’s just a matter of how mad she gets before she starts crying. 

“ _ Asshole _ ,” Chloe hisses. She brings her hand flat down on the table. The water glasses rattle a little. “How did we not know he’s some bigoted-”

Beca sighs, cutting her off. “He’s really not, though. I don’t know what that was.”

Aubrey sits down slowly. “What did he do?”

Chloe coughs darkly. “Besides insinutating that he’s a raging homophobe?”

Beca sighs again. “I’m not defending him. I’m not,” she insists when Chloe turns to her. “But maybe he meant something else?” She looks over her shoulder to where Jesse is still standing, talking to a woman she doesn’t know. She’s blonde. She must be Kelly.

Chloe continues to glare for a minute before her shoulders heave and she exhales noisily. “What else could he have meant, then?”

Beca shrugs a shoulder. “I don’t know.”

Aubrey stands up again, throwing her napkin down on the table. “I’m going to go find out.”

“Aubrey, don’t go-”

Aubrey is gone from the table before Beca can get another word out, marching through crowds of people. Beca watches her get to Jesse, laying into him without waiting for him to say anything. She turns back to Chloe, rubbing at her shoulder and ducking her head until their eyes meet.

“I’m sure he meant something else,” she says again.

Chloe inhales, her eyes closing as she breathes out. “I got a little defensive,” she admits.

“No,” Beca says, voice flat. “You? Defensive?”

Chloe rolls her eyes, swaying into Beca’s side. “I just think that sexuality-”

“Is a spectrum,” Beca finishes. “And we’re all a little all over the place. I know, Chloe. You’ve told me, like, a hundred times.”

“Only because you were weird when that girl at Starbucks asked me out.” Chloe pauses. “I need to stop going to Starbucks.”

Beca remembers that girl. Janet? Jennie? Maybe Janice? She had been all teeth and laugh, leaning over the counter and touching the necklace Chloe was wearing that day. It wasn’t that she was a girl. Beca  _ really _ didn’t care about that part. She cared that the girl was interrupting Beca right in the middle of a sentence, talking over and around her to get to Chloe. 

Beca ignores that for now. “Listen, just.” She takes a deep breath and grabs Chloe by the shoulders, pulling her aorund until their knees are touching and they’re leaning into each other. “Listen to me. It doesn’t matter what he thinks, okay? We’re the only ones who matter.”

Chloe looks her in the eyes for a minute. “See?” she says quietly. “We totally have this dating thing down.”

Beca feels a rush of something hot spike through her. She opens her mouth.

“He meant he would have known if you were interested in dating each other,” Aubrey says loudly, sitting down next to Beca. It pushes Beca out of her seat a little. Chloe catches her, fingers digging into her leg. “He told me to tell you he’s sorry, he knows how it sounded, but it’s not what he meant.”

“What did you tell him?” Chloe asks, glaring in his direction.

“I told him he was an idiot.” Aubrey shrugs when Beca turns to look at her. “He is. I won’t apologize for telling you the truth.”

Beca sighs and fixes a smile. “See? Not a homophobe. Just, you know.” She shrugs. “An idiot.”

“He definitely doesn’t believe you, though,” Aubrey continues. She reaches across Beca and takes a water glass off the table, sipping from it. Beca is sure that’s not her cup. “He’s convinced you’re just pretending. Which,” she lowers her voice as she looks at the other Bellas. “You are.”

Chloe’s hand tightens on Beca’s leg. Beca winces.

“He said he thinks he would have known that you were into each other, that’s all.” Aubrey shrugs. “I told you this wouldn’t work.”

Beca sighs. “She’s right.”

Chloe is shaking her head before Beca can finish speaking. “No, she’s not.”

“Chloe,” Beca says softly.

Chloe keeps shaking her head. “We came here to prove a point to him. And we’re going to prove it.” She stands up and thrusts a hand into Beca’s face. “Come on.”

“Chloe,” Beca says again, even as she lets Chloe pull her up from the table. “Where’re we going?”

“Dancing,” Chloe says before she turns abruptly, pulling Beca through the crowd towards the small dance floor. There’s not many people on it, all of them mostly older. Beca knows the Bellas are all behind her, watching as Chloe pulls her onto the floor and around in a circle. Chloe catches her, moving Beca hand to her waist. “I’ll lead.”

“No way, dude,” Beca hisses. She tries to move her hand but Chloe holds it down over her hip tightly. Beca gives up after a second, sinking into the reality that she’s never been able to lead Chloe anyway. “This is ridiculous,” she says after a minute.

Chloe smiles. “Just dance.”

Beca lets herself get swept up in the music. It’s awful and she wants to personally flay the guy standing in front of his laptop with a pair of oversized headphones hanging around his neck. Chloe sees where she’s looking and laughs, pulling her away from the table and towards the edge of the dancefloor. 

“Thank you,” Beca says quietly. 

Chloe leans in a little. “What was that?”

Beca rolls her eyes and huffs. “I said thank you. For, you know. This.”

“For what?”

Beca shakes her head. “Chloe Beale.”

Chloe grins. “Beca Mitchell.”

Beca sighs first. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I know.” Chloe pulls her a little closer. “But I think you love that about me.”

That funny feeling comes again, shooting through her without warning. It tingles in the tips of her fingers where they rest in Chloe’s hand and along her shoulder.  _ That it was love _ echoes in her mind. Chloe looks at her with wide, searching eyes, head tipped to one side. She rests her hand against Beca’s cheek and opens her mouth to say something when her eyes skirt over Beca’s shoulder.

“Wait,” Chloe breathes. “He’s looking at us.”

Beca looks into Chloe’s eyes, her lips parted. “Who is?”

Chloe’s thumb brushes over the line of her jaw again. “What?”

Beca shakes her head softly, feeling Chloe’s hand slip around the back of her neck. “What?”

“Beca, I…” Chloe hesitates, eyes dropping to Beca’s mouth. “I just…”

Beca leans in first, closing the space between them. She can’t take it anymore. Chloe is too close. She’s been too close all night. And Beca wants to be closer. She feels like she can’t be close enough. Her hands slide from Chloe’s hips to the small of her back, pulling her in close as her mouth slants over Chloe’s.

Chloe’s hand tightens at the back of her neck, fingernails pinching into her skin. Beca barely feels it, too preoccupied with the way Chloe is kissing her back, her teeth nipping at Beca’s bottom lip gently. Beca presses in sharply, needing to be closer.

“Oh,” Chloe says, breaking away.

Beca’s eyes flutter as she forces them open. Chloe drops her hand from Beca’s face, stepping back until Beca’s hands drop back to her side. She’s taking small steps away from Beca and it feels like she’s putting miles between them. Beca takes a step towards her but Chloe takes two back. 

“Chloe,” Beca starts, mouth twisted in confusion.

Chloe shakes her head and takes one more step back before she turns and walks off, moving between people until Beca loses her in the crowd. She stands on the dance floor, hands curled into fists and the back of her neck where Chloe’s hands had been burning.

“What happened?”

Beca turns to Aubrey, mouth opening and closing as she tries to think about what happened or where it went wrong. She shakes her head, unable to find the words. She looks back in the direction that Chloe ran off in, eyes searching the crowd even though she knows she won’t find her.

“I told you,” Aubrey says, voice quiet and sad. “I told you that I didn’t want anyone getting hurt.”

“I didn’t…” Beca trails off. “What happened?”

Aubrey shakes her head softly. “Beca.” She takes a few steps in the same direction Chloe went, looking back over her shoulder at Beca. “I told you I didn’t want anyone getting hurt.”

Beca watches her go, feeling the world swirling around her. She can still feel Chloe’s hands on her face, her lips on Beca’s lips. She touches her bottom lip with the tips of her fingers, feeling a small shock move through her.

_ That it was love, _ the voice says in her mind.

That feeling comes again but this time, Beca knows what it is. She thinks she’s known for a little while, if she’s honest with herself. But now she gives it a name.  _ Love _ , she thinks. That feeling that comes when Chloe smiles at her over their shared bagel or looks back when they’re walking down a sidewalk or reaches for her hand so they don’t lose each other in the crowd. It’s love. It’s competing in Worlds and graduating together and moving to their shitty walk-up and sharing a bed. It’s love.

She loves Chloe.

But now she’s sure she ruined it.

“You okay?”

Beca sighs, pressing the heel of her palm into her eye. “Jesse,” she starts. She turns to him. “Dude, I get it. But right now-”

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly, holding his hands up in surrender. “You just have that look on your face. You know,” he continues when she frowns at him. “The one you get when you’ve really done a good job making things worse for yourself.” He pauses for a minute. “Is it Chloe?”

Beca feels the corner of her eyes start to burn. “You were right,” she sighs. There’s no reason to hide it. Not with Chloe running from her like Beca burned a hole into her. “We weren’t… We aren’t…”

“I know,” he says kindly. 

“I’ve always been into her,” Beca hears herself saying. She looks at Jesse, her eyes wide. “I think, deep down, I’ve always been into her.”

“I know,” he says again.

Beca frowns. “But you said-”

Jesse breathes out a laugh. “Honestly? I think I was just telling myself that so I didn’t feel like a total loser. Of course I knew you were into her. She was the third wheel in our relationship, Beca.”

Beca shakes her head. “No, she wasn’t.” She pauses and winces a little. “Okay, maybe she was.”

“Maybe.” Jesse rolls his eyes. “You know that I asked you to move to California with me, right? You were there for that? And you remember what you said to me?”

Beca thinks for a minute before the memory washes over. She looks at him sheepishly.

Jesse nods. “I do, too. Because trust me, you only have to experience your girlfriend telling you she can’t move to California with you once. Any more than that, I wouldn’t recommend. Especially since I did experience it more than once. Three times, remember?”

“Jesse, I-”

He holds his hands again. “I don’t blame you. California wasn’t what you wanted.” He hesitates. “I wasn’t what you wanted. New York, Chloe. That’s what you wanted.”

Beca shakes her head. “I didn’t know that.”

“Then you’re not as smart as I thought you were, Beca Mitchell.” He smiles a little at her. “You’re going to stand here and tell me that you didn’t always know that Chloe is who you wanted? It’s who you always picked.”

Beca looks back into the crowd, trying to find Chloe in it. He’s right. She picked Chloe. She picked Chloe a hundred times. She’d pick her a thousand more. When Jesse asked her if she wanted to go with him to California, that there was a sister studio she could get into with a word from Sammy at Redisual Heat, that they could keep being together in a place where the sun never stopped shining, she told him she had to think about it. When he asked again, she told him that Chloe asked her to go to New York with her. When he asked a third time, she told him no.

She picked Chloe. Each night she sleeps in that small full-sized bed, she picks Chloe. Every morning she wakes up and puts down two slices of toast just to put peanut butter on one, she picks Chloe. When she turns down the guys at the studio, she picks Chloe.

_ That it was love _ , Jessica says again in her head.

“I love her,” Beca says out loud. She looks at Jesse. “I love her.”

Jesse nods slowly. “Yeah, Beca. We all know that. But does Chloe?”

-

It takes her most of the night to get someone to tell her where Chloe is. Aubrey is missing too. Flo tells her that Amy left with Bumper almost immediately after they got there. Stacie, Cynthia Rose, and Lilly avoid her. Jessica and Ashley spend the night talking to some of the older Bellas. It’s Emily, finally, who breaks and tells her that Chloe and Aubrey left and went back to the lodge. 

Beca doesn’t even stop to say goodbye to people. She thinks she sees Jesse out of the corner of her eye, talking to that same blond, but she doesn’t stop to talk to him. They’ve said enough.

She sits in the back of the cab she called, tapping her foot anxiously. She listens to the song on the radio and pictures three other songs she could mix it with, not writing any of these ideas down. If Chloe knew she was mixing in her head and not writing it down, she’d probably get yelled at. Chloe is always telling her that she needs to keep better track of her ideas; it’s what’s going to make her famous soon.  _ And when you’re famous, I’m famous, babe _ , she would say. 

When she gets to their cabin, she hesitates. “Do it,” she whispers to herself, hand on the knob. She pulls it away suddenly. What if Aubrey is in there. What if Chloe is in there.  _ What if she isn’t _ , a voice whispers to her. She grabs the doorknob again but lets it go.

She paces back and forth in front of the door. It’s cold out here and her hands are starting to burn with it. She rubs them together, blowing on them as she goes across the door, stop and turn, back across the door, stop and turn and back again. 

She jumps back when the door opens.

“You’re making me dizzy,” Chloe says softly. The night sky almost swallows her words up. “Are you coming inside?”

Beca bounces nervously in place. “Can I?”

Chloe’s smile is thin but she tips her head towards the door and steps back into the cabin. Beca follows after her, slipping in through the door and into the room. She stands in one spot, feeling very small and unsure of herself. She watches Chloe close the door and cross the room to the bed, sitting down and pulling one leg up under herself.

“I’m sorry,” they say at the same time.

Beca winces. 

Chloe’s thin smile comes back. “Let me,” she says. She waits for Beca to nod. “I’m sorry. Aubrey and I talked and I realize now that I… got caught up in things.”

Beca can feel her stomach turn and start to fall.

“We were hardly going to see Jesse. And besides, you were already moved on from him.” Chloe takes a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to pretend to date me when we could have just done what you thought we were doing - showing up together with the rest of the girls.”

Beca nods slowly, wetting her bottom lip. “Chloe, I-”

Chloe holds up a hand. “We,  _ I _ went a little too far. And I’m sorry that-”

“I’m not,” Beca says loudly. She winces when Chloe jumps a little. “I’m not,” she repeats, voice lower. “I’m not sorry.”

“Beca,” Chloe sighs.

Beca pushes forward a step. “No,” she says firmly. “I could have stopped you.”

“You told me to,” Chloe points out.

“No,” Beca says again. “I agreed to this. I agreed to being your… your girlfriend. I didn’t have to, you know that right? I could have said no. But I said yes. And-and I couldn’t think of why outside of, like, you’re my best friend. You know that, right?”

“Right,” Chloe says softly. “You’re mine too.”

Beca points a finger at her. “Put that in writing, please. Aubrey is never going to believe me when I repeat this back to her.”

Chloe laughs softly. “I’m not telling her that.”

“Yeah,” Beca says, deflating a little with a smile on her face. “I wouldn’t tell her either.” She looks at Chloe for a long minute before she sighs and takes another step forward. “Okay, listen to me. I know I’m not, like, big into feelings.” She rolls her eyes when Chloe raises an eyebrow at her. “Yeah, whatever. But I need you to know that I could have said no. And I said yes.”

“Beca,” Chloe sighs. “I wasn’t fair to you.”

“I said yes,” Beca continues over her. “Because… Because…” She swears quietly and straightens up, pulling her shoulders back. “Because you’re my favorite person. And I love you.” She nods to herself. “I’m in love with you, Chloe Beale.”

Chloe stares up at her, unblinking. Beca feels stomach start to tie into knots the longer that Chloe goes without saying anything. Chloe finally glances over Beca’s shoulder and then back again. Beca sighs and shakes her head.

“No, don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Chloe asks, even as her eyes fill with tears. “I’m just looking at you.”

“I’ll cry,” Beca warns. “Do you want me to cry?”

Chloe stands slowly. She changed out of her dress into a pair of sweatpants and the sweatshirt Beca’s dad definitely got her for Christmas last year. Her hair is pulled up into a messy bun, the kind that ends up in Beca’s mouth when they go to bed. She twists her fingers into the bottom of the sweatshirt as she moves closer.

“Don’t,” Beca says again. She doesn’t step back, though. “Chloe.”

Chloe gets closer, moving until her hands are curling into the collar of the coat Beca is wearing, slipping the buttons out of place and pushing the coat back over her shoulders. It hits the floor with a soft  _ thud _ that Beca doesn’t hear.

“Chloe,” Beca breathes. “I-”

Chloe leans in, kissing Beca softly. Her hands slide to Beca’s face, fingertips pressing into her skin just below her ear. Beca feels the room start to spin, a fuzzy haze settling over her. There’s a soft humming in the air that sounds like every good song Beca has ever heard all at once. Beca leans into it, her hands sliding around Chloe’s waist and under the hem of the sweatshirt she’s given up as calling hers. 

She pulls back when her lungs burn for air but stays close, her forehead resting against Chloe’s. Her eyes flutter as Chloe’s fingers smooth down over her cheeks to the point of her chin. She laughs a little, feeling Chloe’s smile against hers.

“Guess I said ‘I love you’ first,” Beca says.

Chloe snorts softly. “Beca, I’ve been saying it forever."

“Sure,” Beca agrees easily. She grins and tucks a strand of hair behind Chloe’s ear. “Whatever you say.”


End file.
